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Elle nous assaille quelquefois brutalement mais le plus souvent reste tapie, latente au fond de nous. Nous connaissons tous dans nos veines l'effet pervers de ce poison insidieux, capable de nous gcher nos meilleurs moments. Culpabiliser veut dire "se sentir coupable". Alors sommes nous rellement coupables ? Et si oui, de quoi concrtement ?&nbsp;</p>             <p class="article"><b><font color="#FEA601">Je suis coupable de transgresser des             interdits</font><font color="#FDC94C">.</font></b></p>             <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">               <tr>                 <td>                   <p class="article"><font size="3"><b>P</b></font>ar exemple,  peine suis-je                   assis sur le canap que monte en moi un affreux mal tre. Que se passe-t-il ? Et bien, je me suis                   mis  penser qu'il y a la machine de linge  tendre, qu'il faudrait changer la litire du chat, que je n'ai pas rgl la facture du tlphone... Bref, je sabote ma pose.&nbsp;<br>                   La dtente est un interdit que je suis en train de transgresser et je culpabilise.<br>                   Comment s'est install cet interdit ? Peut-tre m'a-t-on reproch ma "paresse" quand j'tais enfant ou bien mes parents m'ont-ils montr l'exemple  suivre en s'activant du matin au soir sans jamais souffler ? Peut-tre critiquaient-ils vivement tel voisin adepte de la dtente, requalifi de "fainant" ou de "bon  rien" ?</td>                 <td rowspan="5" colspan="5">                   <table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0">                     <tr>                       <td>                         <p class="legende" align="center"><img border="0" src="culpabilite.jpg" width="177" height="250"><br>                         La culpabilit nous assaille quelquefois brutalement.<br>                         <font size="1">Photo<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; mso-fareast-font-family: Times New Roman; mso-ansi-language: FR; mso-fareast-language: FR; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"></span>Vra                         Atchou/photoalto</font></td>                     </tr>                   </table>                 </td>               </tr>             </table>             <p class="article"><b>Des interdits, il en existe beaucoup</b> : interdit de se faire plaisir, interdit de rester enferm quand il faut beau, interdit de se reposer, interdit de "perdre son temps", interdit d'tre faible ou vulnrable, interdit de se tromper... L'interdit le plus redoutablement complet tant celui d'tre imparfait !<br>             <br>             <b><font color="#FEA601">Remplacez ces interdits par vos choix de vie.&nbsp;</font><font color="#FDC94C"><br>             </font></b><br>             <b><font size="3">C</font></b>omment ? Tout d'abord en faisant la liste des comportements que je critique chez les autres.&nbsp;<br>             Car, <b> je critique, chez les autres, les comportements que je m'interdis.</b><br>             Pardi, c'est rvoltant que d'autres aient l'outrecuidance de s'autoriser ce que, moi, je m'interdis !&nbsp;<br>             Par exemple, si je critique l'exubrance de telle personne, il est fort probable que je m'interdis d'tre extraverti. Ensuite, je dois me rendre la permission d'tre ce que j'ai envie d'tre. Qu'est-ce que l'on m'a fait croire  propos de l'exubrance ? En quoi est-ce "mal" d'tre exubrant ? Et qu'est-ce que a peut apporter de bien ? Aprs tout, j'ai le droit d'tre exubrant si je le veux et de ne pas l'tre si je ne le veux pas.&nbsp;<br>             <b>L'interdit lev, ma faon d'tre deviendra un choix personnel</b> donc une thique intrieure et non plus une obligation extrieure. Je pourrai tre en paix avec moi et avec ceux qui ont fait d'autres choix.<br>             <br>             Il est par contre <b> indispensable de conserver l'interdit de porter atteinte  l'intgrit morale, physique ou matrielle d'autrui</b> ainsi que l'interdit de transgresser les lois ! La culpabilit qui natrait de la transgression de ces interdits l doit rester en fonction pour permettre la vie en socit.<br>             <br>             <b><font color="#FEA601">Je suis coupable de refuser de porter les problmes des             autres</font><font color="#FDC94C">.</font></b></p>             <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">               <tr>                 <td>                   <p class="article"><b><font size="3">D</font></b>ans ce cas, <b> mon sentiment de culpabilit provient d'un transfert de responsabilit.</b><br>                   En principe, nous avons tous notre "sac  dos" de problmes et, bien sur, il nous appartient de les porter et de les traiter.                   <b> Lorsque je ressens de la culpabilit vis  vis de quelqu'un, c'est que je porte dans mon sac  dos un problme qui ne m'appartient                   pas</b>. Or, je ne peux tre responsable que de ce sur quoi je n'ai le pouvoir d'agir directement et je n'ai pas de pouvoir direct sur les problmes des autres.<br>                   Le nettoyage du sac  dos et le tri de son contenu s'imposent!<br>                   Pour commencer ce nettoyage, il faut <b> faire une distinction trs nette entre autonomie et gosme.</b></td>                 <td>                   <p class="legende" align="center"><img border="0" src="sacados.jpg" width="177" height="233"><br>                   Il appartient  chacun de porter son sac  dos de                   problmes.</td>               </tr>             </table>             <p class="article">(Il est amusant de noter au passage que ceux qui vous traitent d'goste vous reprochent essentiellement de ne pas penser  EUX !). Non, je ne suis pas goste quand je m'occupe en priorit de mes problmes personnels de faon  ne pas les faire porter  mon entourage. Il appartient  chacun d'entre nous de prendre soin de lui et de ses besoins. Un adulte n'a pas  faire prendre en charge ses besoins affectifs ou matriels par quelqu'un d'autre.<br>             <b>Il est, par exemple, impossible de faire le bonheur de quelqu'un d'autre (surtout s'il n'a pas lui mme envie d'tre heureux             !)</b>. Ensuite, <b> rejetez de votre sac  dos tout ce qui est de l'ordre du chantage affectif.</b> Le fait d'aimer quelqu'un ne donne aucun droit de contrle sur ses sentiments ou sur sa faon d'tre. Si vous ressentez de la peur ou de la piti (sentiment trs diffrent de la compassion) pour la personne qui prtend vous aimer, vous portez ses cailloux ! Enfin, remettez les choses  leur place :             <b> si "ma libert s'arrte l o commence celle de l'autre", cela veut dire que "celle de l'autre s'arrte l ou commence la mienne&quot;</b>. Et quand la bible dit "Aime ton prochain" comme "toi             mme", cela signifie "autant" et non pas "plus" ou " la place de".<br>             <br>             Lorsque votre sac  dos ne contiendra plus que vos problmes personnels, ceux sur lesquels vous avez le pouvoir et le devoir d'agir directement,             <b> vrifiez que vous n'avez pas pris l'habitude de vous servir de votre culpabilit comme d'une suprme excuse pour chapper  vos responsabilits</b>.&nbsp;<br>  "C'est pas de ma faute, c'est Machin qui m'a..." ou "Tu vas pas en rajouter, je culpabilise dj tellement !"&nbsp;<br>             Et dites fermement : "A partir de maintenant, j'en prends la responsabilit".<br>             Car la responsabilit est l'antidote  la culpabilit.             </p>             <p class="signature">Christel Petitcollin</p>             <p class="article"><b>Lire :&nbsp;</b>             <p class="article"><a href="../lexique/manipulation.htm">Manipulation</a>             <p class="article"><a href="../devperso/gerer-ses-emotions.htm">Apprendre              grer ses motions</a>             <p class="article"> <a href="../devperso/communicationcouple.htm">La             communication dans le couple</a>             <p class="article"> <a href="../devperso/etrefort.htm">Etre fort et             faire le poids sans prendre de poids</a></center>              <p align="center"><a href="#haut"><map name="FPMap0">             <area href="#haut" shape="rect" coords="2, 3, 91, 17"></map><img border="0" src="../../images/htdepgdevperso.gif" usemap="#FPMap0" width="95" height="18"></a>              <p align="left" class="article">&nbsp; 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